Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
