Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize