We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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