she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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