marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
