Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
