tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
