Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
