butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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