I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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