why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
