I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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