I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
