if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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