do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize