I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
