Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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