I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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