Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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