If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
