Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
