So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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