i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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