Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
