Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Your penis caused this!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
