This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
then he tried to convert me to islam
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize