Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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