you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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