I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize