I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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