Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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