i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
