it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
