He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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