i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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