Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
