is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
