You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
