i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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