To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
