just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
