drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
