I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Randomize
