My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
