Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
