if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
