I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
