Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
