I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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