no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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