you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
