just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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