I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
