I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize