I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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