K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
