So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
