u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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