Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
