Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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