i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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