some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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