it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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