Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
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