What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He's on the porch naked. Help.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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