This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
