i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
