they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize