No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
